There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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