i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
