it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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