Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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