well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
