I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
