They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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