I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
