We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
