I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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