he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
my poor anus
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