So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
