I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
