escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize