Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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