Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
