Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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