He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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