I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize