What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
