He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have already put on my inside pants.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize