i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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