So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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