Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
