dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
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peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
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You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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