I'm going to jail i love you
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
