if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
