Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
