We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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