apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
