I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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