so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
