Screwed.edu
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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