No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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