I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
