The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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