he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
