I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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