we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
