So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
