Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
