evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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