i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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