Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
