ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
