i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
