She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
