Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize