David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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