I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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