Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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