Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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