I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
