I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
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I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
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He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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