I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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