So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
