She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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