I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
