I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Randomize