so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
